Perspective: Jack Falco (Mark Cronan)

Dramatis Personae:
Jack Falco – A Private Informer with a knack for trouble, and your diligent author. (Mark Cronan)
Luford – A Sorcerer with a penchant for women, wine, and song, in that order. (Steve Smith)
Lucius the Luscious – A Swashbuckling charmer who loves anyone that loves him. (Rachel Smith)
Glüg – A half-orc barbarian with an appreciation for food, battle, and more food. (Julia Blakeslee)
Yarl – A dwarven cleric with an admiration for all things technological, including guns. (Matt Blakeslee)
Yarl’s Brother – A dwarven warrior with a fondness for his six-shooter, and shooting it (Jason Naylor)
Rainbow – A fairy who’s partial to disappearing at the most inopportune times (Kestral Bruce)

“We’ve been made!” I called, as Iron Tusk took off, and the chase was on.

While the lot of us were taking a gander at potential paths of pursuit across the docks, Rainbow took off in flurry of activity, wings flapping like a bee.  I have no idea where she came from, or where she had been all this time, but I was pleased as sweetwine she’d chosen this moment to make her grand reappearance.

Luford, however, was a bit surprised by the little fairy’s furious pursuit.  Not wanting to be outdone, he pirouetted around gracefully in an apparent attempt to make an end-run around the nearest building, a maneuver whose elegance was somewhat spoiled as his first step was his last, plunging straight off the dock and into the ocean!

“I meant to do that! I’m fine!” he gurgled from below the dock, dog-paddling in a circle furiously.

Glüg and I just shrugged, figuring we could take a lone orc even with Luford out for the fight, and took off down the dock to make chase. 

The Tusk was several docks away, and moving fast.  While the list of places in Ptolus that are built logically is a long one, the Docks will not be found in such a catalog.  In fact, some genius had decided that there should not be a walkway along the waterway, and instead, the building should come to the water's edge, with no easy access between piers beyond using water transport.  It was going to be a game of leapfrog to get to our prey in time to prevent escape.

I reached the end of the first dock and rather heedlessly leaped across to the next.  Unfortunately, I made a less than graceful landing, and it took a moment to get my balance, arms flailing, body wobbling and all.

Glüg was not so clumsy and plunged headlong into a running leap off the end of the dock, sailing right past me smack down in a pile of goop with a squishy thudding sound. 

That’s when I noticed what sort of barge in which we’d found ourselves – a garbage transport.

And not just any rubbish carrier – a FULL one.  Heaps of refuse, steaming in the heat of the sun, liberally coated with every indescribable fish part and wobbly bit discarded from every disreputable dining establishment from here clear over to the Warrens.

I felt the bile rise in my throat in reaction to the stench.  I have a strong stomach (you have to, in my line of work), but the unexpected disgust of the situation took me off guard like a sucker punch. My disgust was written on my face like I’d just eaten a lemon.  A serious mistake mind you, as Glüg noted my revulsion and immediately took glee at my distress.

You see, Glüg takes great pleasure in demonstrating it’s “superior” fortitude for all consumable things.  I once saw Glüg eat a handful of rusty nails, washed down by a mug of worms, as a snack just to make a human cringe.  And seeing my queasiness was just the sort of challenge Glüg appreciates.  Glüg loves to see humans lose their lunch.

So, with a big evil smug grin, Glüg did the unthinkable.  It reached down, grabbed a big chunk of filth right off the barge, and dribbled it right into its mouth.  Fishy entrails and something that might have been rotten fruit slithered down its hand and across Glüg’s face.  As it took delight in ingesting the gruesome snack, deep laughter burbled around the disgusting chunks of waste.

That pushed me over the edge.  I barely had time to kneel as I let loose what was left of my stomach contents, over Glüg’s guttural and slurping laughter.  That is, until the laughter turned into the unmistakable sound of vomiting. It seemed the joke wasn’t entirely on me, as Glüg’s little snack didn’t agree with even it’s iron-lined stomach!

“Enough messing around, the Tusk is getting away!” I coughed, wiping my face with the back of my hand.  Glüg nodded agreement, not bothering to clean itself, and the chase continued as my half-orc companion made its way towards a barge full of chickens.

I paused briefly to duck, as I heard the unmistakable crack of firearms from behind me.  I turned, and caught the intent glares of Yerrick, Yarl and Luscious through a haze of smoke, disappointment on their faces as their target dodged behind some cover.

A glance at Iron Tusk revealed him scattering away from his hidey hole, taking advantage of the brief pause in the artillery barrage to hop from dock to boat again.  Then suddenly I though I heard the twang of a bow in the distance, and I saw him falter, an arrow jutting out of his shoulder!

“Where did that come from?” I mumbled, looking around to see if I could spot the shooter.  Nothing could be seen of our mysterious benefactor. The Tusk didn’t pause long to lick his wounds, and was on the move again.  So were we.

Glüg was busy making yet another mess, as it tore through a boat covered with chickens.  Feathers flew everywhere, making my pursuit a bit more difficult.  But Glüg was making good time, as it jumped from there onto a boat with some barking dogs, kicking at the canines as it continued to move past. As I also followed onto the chicken boat, I could see through the flying feathers that Glüg had already made its way from the boat with the yappers onto a large raft that seemed a bit wobbly for its size, as Glüg’s arms spread like a bird, wobbling as if drunk.

Yarl and Luscious apparently decided to get closer before taking more shots, and they were not too far behind me as I heard Yarl’s brief exclamation of disgust on landing on the garbage transport.

Meanwhile, I spotted Yerrick trying to help Luford out of the water.  For better or worse, the long-distance ranged attacks were being abandoned for the time being. I pressed the pursuit, passing through the feathers, past the dogs, and onto the wobbly raft.  Glüg wasn’t too far ahead, apparently caught in some nets on a fishing boat.  It looked like an ugly mess, and I really hoped no hooks were mixed in with those nets!

Glüg’s strength fortunately won out, and no worse for wear it seemed, as it burst through the nets and amazingly caught up to our objective.  Glüg’s incredibly fast travel across the barges was simply stunning to witness, and I once again was happy Glüg was on our side.  It struck Iron Tusk a glancing blow, and I finally had high hopes that the chase might end in our favor soon. Iron Tusk was none to happy about it however, and fought back against Glüg, cutting a nasty gash in Glüg’s arm, and then backing away from the wild half-orc.

In the interim I was carefully making my way through the fishing boat, taking the time to slowly disengage myself from any entangling nets rather than dive in and risk getting caught like Glüg had.  By the time I got to the other side, I could see Rainbow flying in and out and around the battle between Glüg and Iron Tusk, and she seemed to be looking for a way to help turn the tide of the battle in our favor.

I lost sight of Yerrick and Luford around then.  I think they had decided to take the safer route and use the streets to make their way around to the closest dock.

As I got within mere steps of the battle, disaster struck.  With a panicked look in his eyes, the Tusk backed up and intentionally kicked over a lit lantern onboard.  Fire immediately bloomed across the sail and deck, creating a flaming barrier between Glüg and the Tusk!

I thought Glüg was going to dive through the flames after him, but it impressed me instead by swiftly loading and firing a sling at Iron Tusk through the fire.  It struck home with a sickening thud, and our opponent keeled over backwards, feet kicking outward as he fell back over the side of the boat and into the water.

Rainbow squealed “I thought we wanted to talk to him!” as she dove after the sinking Iron Tusk.  Glüg grunted, looking for a way through the fire.

I made my way beside Glüg, also searching our options.  I wasn’t too good a swimmer, so that looked like a bad route for me.  Leaving only…the flames.

I did it.  It was rash, but I figured getting singed was better than drowning or standing around watching our only lead sink to the bottom of the bay.  So, through the flames I went.

I immediately regretted my decision.  Though my stay was brief, the all-encompassing pain seemed eternal.  While I could see Tusk not too far away sinking into the ocean, I had to stop and get a hold of my bearings.  Ugly memories of my battle with The Demon from long ago came to mind with the flames, but I stuffed them back down in the recesses of mind to refocus on the situation at hand.

A splash far to my left snapped me out of it, and I saw Glüg’s feet disappear beneath the roiling waters of the bay.  Ah Glüg, wiser than me I see.

I looked for the rest of my comrades, and spotted two of them: Yarl and Luscious.

Yarl was hopping from boat to boat, peering into them.  It didn’t seem like he was recklessly making his way towards the sinking Tusk like the rest of us, but instead carefully examining all the barges in the bay.  Perhaps he would find out mysterious benefactor with the bow.

Meanwhile, Luscious was taking the heedless pursuit route, like Glüg and I had, and was rapidly getting closer.  I decided that Glüg and Rainbow probably could rescue the Tusk together, and given his location I didn’t stand much of a chance of helping out without diving into the ocean myself.  The leap through the flames really had been useless.

Well, I wasn’t about to make all that effort go completely to waste.  From my position on the other side of the flaming debris I could reach a nearby bucket, and started to scoop water up and douse the flames.  It didn’t take long, as the salty wet air of the bay had already damped much of the deck, and the flames never did make much progress up the sails.  A brief time later, and the flames had died down to transient flickers, and the smell of wet rags and burnt wood took its place.

By now Rainbow had the Tusks head above the water, and Glüg was just arriving to help out.  I moved back across the formerly fire-ridden barge, and back over to the fishing boat.  When I arrived, Luscious was already there, stuck in the nets as Glüg had been, bravely trying to flail his way through them.  I helped him untangle himself, folding a net for myself on the way in hopes of using it to tie up our wet new Orcish friend, as Luscious and I made our way over to Glüg, Rainbow, and the nearly drowned Iron Tusk.

It wasn’t pretty, but the “plan” had worked.  Glüg and Rainbow were able to pull the orc out of the water and up onto the boat, and together with Luscious and I, we lifted that wet dead-weight up.  Rainbow checked the orc’s wounds, and with a bit of binding and care, our elusive quarry was set back on the path to life, though he’d have quite the headache when he woke.

The four of us dragged Iron Tusk’s limp body down the dock, meeting up with Luford and Yerrick on the way as they came around the corner.

“I see you had better luck than I did.  No sign of our shooter” said Yarl with a shrug as he jogged up to our position from the docks.

“We need a safe place to talk to our waterlogged companion here.” I said, scanning the nearby buildings for a suitable location.

It didn’t take long to find the right building, as I knocked on the door of an adjacent warehouse.  No answer.  Perfect.

“Here, hold this” I said, passing off my arm of the orc to Yarl, as I slipped my professional tools out of their leather case.

A twist here, and turn there, a bit of a shove, and the lock popped open on the warehouse door.  No sweat.  In we went, closing the door behind us.

This wasn’t the first time we had to deal with an interrogation, and everyone knew their roles.  Off came the orc’s weapons, then armor, and then his various other sundry items.  When it got time for the loincloth at the insistence of one of the dwarves, Rainbow squeaked, and off she went disappearing into whatever mysterious world she lived in.

A few turns of the net I had borrowed, some knots, and he was a bound, helpless, naked, and ugly looking prisoner.

Yarl brought him around with a bit of that magical mojo he possessed, and the interrogation began.

“Where’s the key, you scoundrel!” barked Luscious, starting in with the bad cop while I tried to play good cop for a change with a sympathetic look.  It didn’t go so well, and the wet orc was pretty discourteous to our queries, spitting at Luscious.

Glüg tried the more direct approach, leaping at the Tusk in fury, screaming as he bit down on the bound orc’s ear in ferocious anger. 

“Stop! Ahhh stop, I don’t know nuthin about no keys! I was just fixing my boat” He cried, struggling to scoot away from our mad half-orc companion.

“So what does this map lead to then” said Luscious holding up a soggy scroll he had pulled from our adversaries cloak, as I pulled Glüg off of him, continuing my good-cop role.

“Map? That’s uh, just the Green Dragon Inn!” he squealed.  It didn’t take a detective to know he was lying.

Rainbow reappeared with a flash, and immediately dove back into the conversation like she had never left.
“Stop being so naughty!  We stopped you from drowning.  The least you could do was tell us what’s going on” she said sternly, in that entrancing way that fairies sometimes speak.

It worked.  The orc’s eyes seemed to glaze over as if hypnotized by the little fairies speech, and truthful words finally started to pour forth.

“Okay okay, don’t be angry with me.  The map leads to the guys who hired me, the Green Dragon Bruisers gang.  They gave me one-hundred gold tah steal the key” he sobbed.

“What do these gang members look like?” asked Luscious, a grin spreading across his face at the fairy’s effectiveness.

“Uh, ones an elf, the other, he looked sick-like.  Both of them were wearing those pins.  You know, the green dagger pins?  Yah can’t miss em.”

“What kind of security will we find at this location?” grilled Luscious.

The orc shrugged.  “I don’t know.  My memory sucks, and I’m telling you the truth.   I only met them once, and it was quick, and I wasn’t keen to ask too many questions if you know what I mean.  It was supposed to be an easy job, in and out, no worries” he whined.

“Tell me about the rest of your stuff.   That spikey armor, what’s that about, is it magic?”

“No magic, just nice.  You know, for the ladies.  They like it?” He shrugged slyly.

“And the iron tusk?”

“Yeah, de ladies, dey like that too.  Ladies like sharp stuff.  It’s…manly” he grinned, showing off his namesake. 

I hoped to not meet whatever ladies he was hanging out with.

I ran out of questions, and Luscious and I looked at each other, the same thought going through out minds – what now?

“Thank you for being honest.  Pardon us,” said Yarl, taking control of the situation and indicating that we should follow him to a corner of the warehouse.

We followed, and in hushed tones the discussion of what to do with our captive began in earnest.

“We should give him back enough to survive, and let him go,” said Yarl.

“We should smash his face in,” said Glüg.

“We’re not giving back this tanglefoot bag, I can tell you that,” interrupted Luscious.
I sighed.  What to do.  If we let him go, he could inform the gang.  Then again, he had cooperated, and even criminals could make good contacts in the future.

It didn’t take long for us to reach a consensus.  We would release the Tusk, but only with the barest necessities for him to survive.

“We’re going to let you go, but you’re to stay far away from the gang, and not tell anyone about this little dispute of ours, or that you even know about this.  You got that?  Cause if I find you rat us out, I’m giving you over to my friend here…” I said, indicating Glüg.  Glüg responded with a gruesome grin.

“Gotcha.  I don’t know you, I don’t know the gang, and I make myself scarce.  Sounds fair.  But, uh, could I maybe have a weapon or something, and a few gold.  These are hard times, and the docks ain’t too safe.”

It took some convincing, but eventually we gave in, and gave the Tusk back his soggy cloak, club, and nine gold pieces.  He didn’t wait around for us to change our minds, and the moment we untangled the net from around him, he was out the door and on his way.

“Mistake.  Should have pounded him some more,” grunted Glüg.

We assessed the rest of the goods, and found seventy gold pieces remained, along with a couple of flasks, the soggy map, and the really nice set of studded armor.  There would surely be a discussion over who would get that armor later, but for now we packed it all away and headed out.  

I’m pretty familiar with this city, but this region of the North Market that we double-stepping to was a bit new even to me.  Bordering on the Necropolis, it’s potentially dangerous, at least at night.  Wandering zombies, escaped spirits, and Lothian knows what could find their way past the Keepers of the Vail that guard that dark place.  In all likelihood it was safe, but you never know.  I certainly wouldn’t want to live here.

As we reached our destination, we found it was a block of run-down multi-story residential houses.  Wanting to avoid the direct approach for now, I started to scan the area for an easier entrance point.  It was time for stealth.

<100 experience points each party member>
<50 xp to Jack Falco for the log>